Midnight Queen
by PhoenixLoveStory
Summary: Edward didn't come back, but Bella found her own way to cope. Can the Cullens save her from herself? *I know bad-Bella has been done before but give it a try! Warning: Drugs, alcohol, and suicide mentioned.*
1. Preface

**So I definitely know this has been done before, but I wanna make this good. I really think I can make this goo because I've been where Bella is going. Not quite as bad, but definitely similar. Review and tell me what you think. I came up with the idea for this while listening to "**_**Gotta Get Me Some" **_**by Nickelback. If you like rock music, or if you want to really get into the story I suggest reading it.**

**Oh, and I'd really appreciate reviews. I've kind of had to tap into the (what I like to call) "bad Jess" to get this right. Its kind of made me slightly depressed but it feels good to write something with feeling.**

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><p>Midnight Queen<p>

Preface

"This could be my last goodbye. You cross your heart. I hope to die." Boys Like Girls "Up Against the Wall"

The blade was no longer enough against my scarred wrists, the needle and the rush no longer enough. I needed _him_, the ultimate drug. But I am too stubborn; I have grown too strong to run back to him. This is entirely _his _fault anyway. If he had only stayed away! I could go on with my life like I have been. _He thought he could save me,_ I thought with a bitter edge. Well, I'll show him safe. No one's safe on a twenty story ledge. _He can't just walk back into my life and run it, _my drunken thoughts echoed. I will show him that my life isn't up to him. I can't live this way much longer. The only way to prove it is to _show_ him.

I throw the blade to the ground with the discarded syringes and stand up dizzily. Looking around me there is only empty bottles and needles. It's all I need. I walk towards the window, tripping on each step. The world is spinning when I open my window and put my foot onto the ledge. The only thing left to do now is jump.

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><p><strong>I know that was unbelievably short. I really wanted to write more, but I didn't want to give too much away. I may update again tonight, not sure though. So, did I grab your attention? Go on, review! Its easy, free and is great way to make an author happy *insert cheesy infomercial smile*<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or (sadly) Edward Cullen…. .**


	2. Chapter 1

**So sorry I haven't updated in a while. Had a really – err – **_**hectic**_** few weeks. That and I don't know if I'm going to continue this…. So let me know what you think in a review. If I don't get ten reviews by the time the fourth chapter comes around, I don't think I'll continue. **

**In this chapter you'll begin to see Bella's personality and changes. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: You know how it goes. I don't own. ):**

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><p>Midnight Queen<p>

Chapter One

Ice

God almighty! Look at that body  
>Bent just like the sticker on a new Ferrari<br>She's a scene from a Baywatch rerun  
>Hotter than a barrel on a squeezed machine gun.<p>

-'Gotta Get Me Some' Nickelback

The new Nickelback song was pounding out the speakers of the club. They don't usually do rock, but I guess they were making an exception. I felt like everyone was watching me. Well, that's because they _were_. A long time ago, I would have hated all the attention, but now I love it. I live for it, in fact.

As the song ended I walked over to the bar. "Hey! Tina!" I called, dragging out the 'a'. "Hey chicky, enjoying your night off?" she asked, walking towards me and drying off a glass at the same time. "Yeah. This place ain't so bad when you're not working," I answered. "Gonna get something to drink, Isa?" she asked. "You know me better than to have to ask! I need a martini, on the rocks with no salt," I answered, laughing. She nodded and went to making it. We kept up some small talk and when she gave me my martini I said goodbye and turned to look around the club.

This place has become more a home to me than my apartment. It's been five years since I dropped out and moved up to Seattle. I thought of going someplace farther away than this, but I never saved up enough money for it. My dwindling college savings were almost gone, so I got a job here – a club called 'the Red Light Show'. Alcoholics, druggies, you name it. It was good money though. I soon had enough to move out of the slums and into a barely middle class apartment. As for Forks, I moved out of there as soon as I could. The memories were too much, and Victoria's tricks didn't help. I could still remember the last time she attacked me.

_Flashback_

_I had just started using, and the effects were much stronger than anything I'd ever thought of. I was stoned in the middle of what used to be our meadow. Now it means nothing to me. "Nothing!" I screamed into the night. I sat back down so that I wouldn't fall. The world was spinning, and although it was night, the colors were so bright and the red eyes boring into me were so pretty… my mind went into overdrive. My instincts told me that those eyes were bad, but another part of me said, "So what?" The eyes came closer and I could see a woman. She had blood red eyes, and maybe it was just the drugs, but her hair looked like fire0._

"_Look at you now, Bella. Look where you are!" she yelled at me. She laughed a sadistic, crazed noise. "You're high as a kite and unloved. How does it feel?" she asked. I didn't answer. "Well, don't worry. It'll be over soon, little Isabella," she cooed sadistically. I nodded and I think I may have even asked her to kill me, which would be a good reason for her to change her mind. I remember her saying, "No… Maybe you shouldn't die. Maybe the opposite…" she purred, "I have to live unloved, so you should too…" Her form grew closer until her blood red eyes were level with my muddy brown ones. As her teeth came closer to my neck, she suddenly stopped. Her head snapped towards the left looking at something I couldn't hear. Soon the noise was audible to my ears too. It was the sound of giant paws pounding the muddy ground. I faintly remembered Jake; were these wolves of his pack? I didn't even have the coherency to think straight anymore._

_I faintly remember them taking down Victoria. I blacked out here and there and I don't remember what happened to her in the end. I just remember the Jake-wolf shaking his head in disappointment, at me._

_End Flashback_

Soon after Victoria's attack, I left Forks. Charlie was heartbroken, and I've only talked to him three times since then. Once because he was worried, once because Jacob had gone missing, and once to tell me the news of Renee's death. We hadn't spoken since then, and I hadn't really thought much of it. To say I wasn't affected by Renee's death would be lying. I did not go to work for a week and a half and I almost considered getting clean. I didn't go to the funeral, or Phil's trial. I lived on auto-pilot, kind of like when Ass-ward left me.

"Isabella! Come on over here!" called a familiar voice. I turned to see the face of my first and really on friend here, Toni. Now, the thing about Toni is, well, he's really weird. He's gay to the extreme, but all the girls hit on him. There's actually a long list of weird things about him, but that's my number one.

"Hey, Toni, what's up?" I asked, sliding into the round booth. "Not much, chika. Meet my boyfriend, Rikki. Rikki, this is my BFF, Isabella," he said, gesturing to the blonde covered in sparkles. "Hey, nice to meet you," he said. I nodded back. We kept up the small talk until Rikki slid out of the booth to go get another martini.

"So, what do you think of my new boy toy?" Toni asked, nudging my arm with his. "Nice, nice," I replied. "Are you sure you're not lesbian, Issy? I mean, you're never around any guys. I mean, if I wasn't gay I would've ridden the Issy train a long time ago," he trilled. "I told you, I just don't do romance," I told him. He rolled his eyes and went back to checking out all the guys that passed us.

"Mm, mm. Hottie with the blonde and the short one at 3 o'clock. Mm, I wonder if those are both his. I wonder if there's room for one more…" Toni said. I just rolled my eyes at him. "Isa, Isa, look," he said nudging me. "The red headed hottie is looking right at you!" he said. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," I replied, not giving it a second thought. "I think he's coming over here! And something tells me it's not for me!" he trilled. "Seriously Isabella! Look!" he said. I finally got tired of his swooning and turned around. And not five feet away, staring me right in the eye, was Edward freaking Cullen.

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><p><strong>Well, definitely not my best work! Half of this was written months ago, and I just felt like giving it another try. For those of you who have been following this story, thank you. It's been a crazy time lately, and I haven't had much inspiration. I was a bit worried about having Eddie boy come back so early in the story, but it just kinda happened….<strong>

**Thanks for reading! Review, por favor? I would love you forever! (:**


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